It really would be so easy for me to slip into substance abuse. I hear it calling my name. Christina, you need a break from these thoughts. Come, get nice and drunk and none of this will matter for a while.
I can't, though. If it were just me, that would be one thing... but it isn't. It's Dave too, and this has affected him enough already. He doesn't need a drunkard wife on top of it all.
It's said that God never gives you more than you can handle. I believe this to be true. I just never considered, before today, that he can give you something huge like this, but in small doses. You remember some, handle it, then when you're ready you remember more.
Of course, I don't believe that God had anything to do with this.
The more I find out, the worse it gets.
I don't want to find out anymore right now.
I don't know if I can avoid it.
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